I found these whilst cleaning up my e-mail archives over the weekend.. Enjoy.
New Year Resolutions you can keep!
Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:
1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Not have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura.
16. Buy an ’83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
17. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
18. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
19 . Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
20. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
21. Not eat cloned meat.
22. Create loose ends.
23. Get more toys.
24. Get further in debt.
25. Not believe politicians.
26. Break at least one traffic law.
27. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
28. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
29 . Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
30. Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
31. Associate with even worse business clients.
32. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
33. Wait around for opportunity.
34. Focus on the faults of others.
35. Mope about my faults.
36 . Never make New Year’s resolutions again.
A Geek's Life 
number first!!!
i can never accomplish #1 even if i tried with all my life.hehehe. some of us are lucky, eh!
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LWKMD!!!
read less,makes you think……..I wish!
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Wow, been ages DB……. what happened to our love
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noice. i'll def be doing 'vacation in cyberspace' this holidays 🙂
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Preach it!
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i need to gain weight too.ive been trying.it just doesnt come on.
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Lol! No's 3, 5, 13, 23, 24, 31, 33 & 36. Just made my evening.
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OMG…this is too funny. I love the gain weight part. Very easy goal.
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lmao — u gat jokes
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LWKMD!!!!! Def a doable list!
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funny DB
long time
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Funny resolutions. LOL @ get further into debt.
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lmao…need to compile mine…Wishing you all the best…
**2010…Lets get it!!!
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I don't know if I will make some this new year. Not really a huge fan of them
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lol
this is too funny
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Shucks i can relate with some of them…nice!
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im a baby at this but you so are not serious!
i know, if i adopt your new year resolutions,
i'd become a glutton,
if i do not exercise, i will nt be able to fit in the space of my door,
if i do not read i'd lose my cases…
If i continue, i wont be me again.. but still thanks for leading me in the right direction.
http/askchacha4free@blogspot.com
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I am sure I can keep most of these this new year…:-)
Happy New Year…
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