The formula for a perfect wife..

A bride should be five years younger than her groom, should come from the same cultural background, and be the more intelligent of the pair if couples are to have a successful marriage, scientists have announced.

Apparently the critical difference in intelligence is 27%… leading to a 20% increase in the probability of a good marriage. Perhaps eHarmony can include these critical findings in their much vaunted Compatibility algorithm. I have already included them in my spreadsheet!

HT : The Daily Telegraph

New Year unResolutions…

I found these whilst cleaning up my e-mail archives over the weekend.. Enjoy.

New Year Resolutions you can keep!

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.
2. Stop exercising. Waste of time.
3. Read less. Makes you think.
4. Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.
5. Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
6. Not date any of the Baywatch cast.
7. Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.
8. Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.
9. Not jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.
10. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
11. Not have eight children at once.
12. Get in a whole NEW rut!
13. Start being superstitious.
14. Personal goal: bring back disco.
15. Not wrestle with Jesse Ventura.
16. Buy an ’83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.
17. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash.
18. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.
19 . Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.
20. Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.
21. Not eat cloned meat.
22. Create loose ends.
23. Get more toys.
24. Get further in debt.
25. Not believe politicians.
26. Break at least one traffic law.
27. Not drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.
28. Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.
29 . Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
30. Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.
31. Associate with even worse business clients.
32. Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.
33. Wait around for opportunity.
34. Focus on the faults of others.
35. Mope about my faults.
36 . Never make New Year’s resolutions again.

On ‘Normative Determinism’……..and rebranding Nigeria!

I was talking to a couple of elderly peeps back in 9ja a few weeks ago and the case of a son who seems to be intent on self-destruction came up. The father opined that the chaps name might be part of the problem – his name is Ojo (I understand its given to a child whose birth was particularly difficult) and his moniker was Ojo-Jogbon (which seems to carry a connotation of a trouble maker). I decided, just for the fun of it to see what research had been carried out on the subject, and was shocked to discover a whole body of knowledge exists on it – aptly called normative determinismOchuko blogged about his name and its meaning, as did justdoyin’s post where a Noel Gist was talking about rumours!

Apparently not only are there implications for the individual’s happiness and success (people with surnames from the beginning of the alphabet were more successful than those from the end), there was a correlation between the words spelled out by initials and the age of death (men with positive initials eg A.C.E lived approximately four and a half years longer than those which spelled negative words eg D.I.E;  for women it was three years).  In fact people with names of diseases often contacted them such as a Tonsilitis Jackson and his brother Meningitis. An unofficial study seems to suggest that even people’s love lives and their perception of hotness can be affected by the name they bear! (Baroque and Princessa any one?)

Maybe Doug has the peculiar honor of fathering the first blogsville e-baby because he added Hot to his moniker, or indeed Bumight’s win came about as a result of selecting the name Kolawole for the soon to be born e-baby! Quite possibly  I am perceived as more intelligent than I really am because my moniker is Daniel and Nefertiti is generally considered a hard woman because of the connotations around her moniker.  Pray tell me what associations can be drawn with a moniker like Charizard (burning things?)

Other interesting facts:  you are more likely to get spam e-mail if you are Anna or Andrew as opposed to if you’re Zack or Zoe.  Even cows, have gotten in on the act, Ermintrude, Daisy and La vache qui rit may produce as much as 454 pints more each year than cows with no names.

Maybe Professor Dora and co need to borrow a leaf from this study and expand the scope of the re-branding program to include a detailed study of the etymological roots of the name Nigeria, or even that of Baba Yar’,  just in case it’s his ‘bad luck’ that is keeping Nigeria behind!

I no talk anything o!!!!!

Newton’s First Law of (e)Motion

“Corpus omne perseverare in statu suo quiescendi vel movendi uniformiter in directum, nisi quatenus a viribus impressis cogitur statum illum mutare.”

I was involved in a little discussion on my FB wall with a friend of mine on Newton’s Laws of Motion when I inadvertedly typed “straight lin emotion” instead of “straight line motion”… Our discussion quickly switched to how the three laws were largely symptomatic of human behavior. After several back and forths, we finally agreed on this interpretation…

Every human being will stay in a state of like, hate or neutral feeling except insofar as he/she is enticed to change state by force (yarnings, doings, levels, money etc) impressed…….

More seriously though, the true interpretation of the latin is
“Every body perseveres in its state of being at rest or of moving uniformly straight forward, except insofar as it is compelled to change its state by force impressed”.

Game Theory.. And the age old question of the comode seat…

Nefertiti’s Journal of an angry woman post a few weeks back raised the issue of comode seats and the age old flashpoint of dudes who do not lower it after use……. It reminded me of something I’d seen on the internet a whiles back, where an Indian Economist, Hammad Siddiqi, took Game Theory, and applied it to this problem…..

His conclusions? For dudes, leaving the seat down is an “inefficient operation” which provides the justification for them not wanting to do it, even if it takes a nano-second of their lives. For girls, its a “trembling hand perfect equilibrium”… ie they may assume that it will happen, but in reality it has a low probability of occurence……

If you fancy some analytical economics and some abstract mathematics, you can follow his analysis on the Science Creative Quarterly here.

A different take on the “Stimulus Bill”

Found this interesting review of the Stimulus Bill on… While I will not pretend to know enough about economics to join issues with the American Plan to pump about $1.2 trillion into the US economy to stimulate growth, a few of the items on the shopping list seem downright absurd to me.. A $246 million tax break for Hollywood movie producers, $650 million for the digital television converter box coupon program, $448 million for constructing the Department of Homeland Security headquarters, $248 million for furniture at the new Homeland Security headquarters, $150 million for Smithsonian museum facilities, $6 billion to turn federal buildings into “green” buildings, $75 million to construct a “security training” facility for State Department Security officers when they can be trained at existing facilities of other agencies, $110 million to the Farm Service Agency to upgrade computer systems and $200 million in funding for the lease of alternative energy vehicles for use on military installations sounds like a political scam of “Nigerianesque” proportions… But then maybe our Naija politicians are understudying the American model in the first place…. Join the debate here and read the full text here