Rediscovering Me

The wind is moving, but I am standing still
A life of pages, waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful, a head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming, is harder than it seems
Feels like I’m
Looking for a reason, roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world, my place in this world
Not a lot to lean on, I need your light to help me find
My place in this world, my place in this world

– Place in This World (Michael W.Smith)

Been doing quite a bit of mulling over a lot of things over the past few weeks – work, post MSc plans, long term direction issues and stuff like that.. Truth is I technically still have a job, but I think I’ve lost my motivation for it…Back in the day I was enthusiastic about taking on the challenges, now, i feel like its all a charade…. I came close to walking away from it all last year, but i talked to an older colleague and he thought a year away might clarify things… Got the year away.. but apparently the clarity doesn’t come with a break……

I get to talk to lots of people on a daily basis, people who have real issues – who would give almost anything to have my life – who wonder if I’m just plain crazy, I sometimes wonder if its just the “grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side” syndrome, if its a mini mid-life crisis, or there really are deep seated things which i need to address.

So I have committed to myself to rediscover myself… to ask the hard questions and hopefully find what is my “Place In This World”..