Month: April 2009

AJ

Demystifying…

LONG POST ALERT….

First off a big shout out to all the peeps I met with or spoke with during my trip to Nigeria – Doug, PoeticallyTinted and Naughty Eyes. You peeps made the calisthenics of moving around Lagos less torturous.. Dante, I dey vex big time.. We go ruff things when next I enter LasGidi.. Mscheeew.. Hmmm.. Belated birthday wishes too to Funms of the paused journey…..No do anyhow o!!!!

Thankfully, you peeps didn’t ask me any really hard questions, so here are the answers..You’ll not get under DB’s skin ever again.. So savor the moment.. LOL

There were a number of age related queries from Nefertiti, ReadyDee and Original Mgbeke. In all my many years on earth I have yet to meet a young lady who answered directly a question on her age. Are there different rules for guys and girls on this one? Anyways,  I will answer with a riddle, and a fact that you can google to come up with the answer.. Or maybe at the very end I will oblige.. We’ll see.

I’ve lived in four decades, but I’m not 40…….Was old enough to remember Maradona scoring the hand of god goal against England at the Mexico ’86 World Cup. Plus I  was born 2 days before two Aeroflot planes collided over Ukraine, killing 156 people.

 

Gee had a bunch of questions, but since she only seriously asked one, one it is. Why did I start blogging? Back in ’06 I needed to deal with a whole lot of hurt. I talked about it in my the truth about Di post. I talked to a friend, who advised I journalled, I googled journalling and found out I could do it online via a blog, and I started my old blog-city blog. Eventually started off a blogger blog in 2007 and the rest as they say is history

Aloted had a question about my teenage years, peer pressure and if I survived it, as well as wanting some words of advice for the younger dudes. I managed to survive as a teenager, but I capitulated big time as a young adult.  My rep preceeded me to University, plus my folks were pretty well known across the state in the Christian student community, so fellowship ‘big boys’ were lining up to take me under their wings. I also got involved in my fellowship pretty quickly, so the visibility kind of helped keep things in check. Had friends – but most of them were chaps who were born and bred right but who had slipped along the way, so they realized the importance of what I had. Aside of the odd occasion, peer pressure was non-existent for me.

Got my dream job at 23, away from everyone who knew me and my past and a sense of adventure kicked in.  Still didn’t smoke and drink but when the occasional opportunity to get intimate came up I jumped at it.

Three things I would recommend to a young man

  • Understand for yourself the reasons behind whatever prohibitions you have acquired.
  • Surround yourself with people of like minds who can re-inforce them
  • Ensure you are in at least one relationship of accountability – someone who can ring you up at any time and ask the hard questions as required..

 

Bumight was curious about the source of the theOOhj moniker and wanted me to describe her in 50 words. Well, Nothing sublime here. I played every incarnation of Football/Championship Manager since 2001. I used to start off in Italy, and I needed an Italian name to fit my persona. theOOhj jumped to mind – sounded Italian, I added Danny cos it sounded nice alongside theOOhj and it sounded a whole lot like my real life nickname from back in the day.. Found out eventually that it’s a region in Italy, so it might have come one of them romantic novels  I read as a kid. I  dunno. The description – when I get my muse to hammer out an acrostic, I’ll deliver.

Naughty Eyes had a slew of questions

  • Why I’m still single? I’ve always being a one girl dude, and I had Di for a large proportion of my life, so I basically wasn’t looking. After Di, there was the girl from Med School who thought we needed to stay just friends, then there was the lawyer who was a shrink job gone awry….. Lawyer was an old mate from secondary school and after she broke up with a guy after 7 years, I listened to all her rants and raves and basically shrinked her. She had ideas, I didn’t and I didn’t bite.. Right now though, I’m half way through a year’s hiatus – taking time out to understand what the undergirding axioms for a successful marriage are. We’ll see what happens at the end of that..
  • Why do good girls love bad guys? A messiah complex maybe – or maybe at heart girls are intrigued by all the things and experiences a bad guy brings to the table.. Or maybe the good guy totally lacks swag? I dunno.
  • Any connections with the Mafia? Of course, why would you doubt that.. LOL
  • With the rate oil prices dwindle nowadays, any future in the Petroleum industry? I’d say there is bruv. I mean i bet almost 23,000 pounds that there is one.. I know a number of oil majors use prices in the region of 14 dollars a barrel as their long term planning number. The slump in prices just affects the viability of a number of less conventional oil and gas resources – deep offshore, tight or shale gas type developments. Renewables are far from having the efficiencies required to compete favourably with fossil fuels.. I know I still have at least another 50 yrs in the pipeline industry!
  • Need your advice on a future course of study: Geophysics or Software Engineering (which has a brighter future a.k.a. more money)? Well.. I’d say money depends on how well you chase whichever option. The geophysics thing seems to me like chasing a job, while on the software side of things it should be possible to knock together a few partners and set out on your own. I know a couple of dudes who went down the software route and are doing just fine at the moment.
  • Has there been any time you’ve been tempted to say, “Aw, sod it!” and walked out on Blogville? Yeah.. Several – I walked away from my old blog-city blog (but then no Nigerians read it) just a couple of Caucasians who were probably only interested in the emotions behind the words I wrote. I used to have a blogger blog – under my real name – which I deleted in October. Unless something major happens to me now though I doubt I’ll walk away completely, especially because I have begun to see a number of viable opportunities for truly global collaboration.
  • What is so addictive about Soccer video games even after we have played all the teams and won all the virtual tournaments (considering I actually dislike the sport in real life) Bruv – I wish I knew.. I’ve kicked my own Football Manager habit though.. and replaced it with more blogging and reading!
  • Is there any need saving the world? Laudable ideal bruv, unfortunately you and I cannot save the world.  Be that as it may, I think we have the world on trust and our activities have the greatest influence on its long term sustainability – unless the apocalypse occurs of course.

Ready Dee also had a slew of questions.

  • Have you ever lived in the southwest region of Nigeria? If yes, for how long? I served the FatherLand in Kwara State back in ’02/03 if that counts – plus I spent quite some time supporting deepwater assets out of Lagos last year..So I would say yes to that.
  • Would you give up blogging if someone dear to you asked? Tough call.. but if I understood the rationale behind it I could, if i got some concessions in return like more ‘US’ time.
  • Have you plans of returning to and settling back in Nigeria? Yup. Still technically have my old job in Nigeria. I only left Nigeria to chase my Msc – I plan to head back sharply in October this year.
  • Would you disclose your real id on your blog (just for the sake of doing so)? I used to blog as my self in the past, there really is no reason why I couldn’t do it if I wanted to… I came close to anyways after my cousin bust my bubble – but guess some mystery is fine anyways..

An anonymous e-mailer, Buttercup and Original Mgebeke wanted to know what other characteristics Mrs DB needed aside of the well documented Akara making prowess…

  • A worldview that is consistently congruent with mine: faith, religion, beliefs, practices, customs and traditions. God used to be the nexus of my life, before I went on a detour for a few years.  As of March 09, I took concious steps to close the gap.. I’m slowly getting there. And Mrs DB has to be at least be on a similar journey to finding God. I’d expect Mrs DB to be a Christian, one who is committed to living out her faith on a day by day basis in her real world, not just in the closet. The whole world view thing affects the way we behave, and knowing that we think off the same premises gives me confidence that we can reach mutually inclusive conclusions on issues which are bound to come up.
  • Same sense of long term direction: For me I know long term that my life is about making a difference in the area of collaboration & mentorship (using the different skills and knowledge that individuals in my world have acquired separately to contribute to the life of younger people). So I know that there are conferences that I will host in future, there are projects that I will chase and all that kind of stuff. Its critical that she can understand what drives me in that direction, and a congruent worldview is a big part of that.
  • Intelligence and the ability to cogitate on the axioms of life and relationships. I’d expect Mrs DB to be intelligent – not a 4.5/5 GPA intelligence (that would be fine though), but that ability to discuss on a wide range of issues, to understand-the-principles-behind-stuff kind of thing. Hmmm… mixed up tenses do not do it for me at all… An appreciation for the arts – Shakespeare, Dickens, Chaucer and Soyinka – and a dose of apologetics would be a real plus.
  • A good personality: temperament, character, attitudes, communication skills: I’d expect Mrs DB to have a warm, possibly bubbly personality. Somehow I’ve been blessed to have only had that refreshing mix of spiritual yet not stuck up peeps in my life, and I want to keep it that way. I’d like Mrs DB to be someone who can talk to me if she’s got an issue, not get on a high horse and expect me to somehow miraculously detect that she’s hurting. Guess I’m as emotionally daft as they come!
  • Focused and driven to succeed: I’d expect Mrs DB to have a life aside of me.. Something that keeps her driven and something she succeeds at that I can contribute to.  Marriage to me should be a symbiotic partnership, where both parties far exceed their individual abilities cos of the influence of the other.
  • An acceptance of the importance of family: I’m really close to my siblings and we talk a lot on many things.. its critical that it continues, albeit in the proper context. They’ve been there for me, and I need to be there for them too.. Albeit they fill out a lower priority. Mrs DB shall be numero uno, but depending on criticality she will have to realize that resources and time may be required to help out siblings.
  • A general acceptance of the principles of complementarianism in marriage: With some caveats though, I truly believe that there are roles for men and women in marriage. While the bible sets out the primary roles – loving a wife and submitting to a husband- in marriage, the secondary roles are reversed. Truly loving someone implies placing the loved one above oneself which has an element of submitting one’s need to the needs of the loved. Submission can only occur if there is enough love for the one submitted to in the first place. And that has to be earned. So while I agree in principle, I think there’s more to it than just the whole love/ submit argument.
  • A Nigerian – or at least able to empathize with the Nigerian ethos.. Cos my life is inexorably linked to Nigeria.
  • I must find Mrs DB totally titillating: I must find attractive – not just skin deep Halle Berry type attraction – but a whole life attraction. Such that even when the physical attributes fade, I can still relate to her on a deeply personal level.

Anonymous e-mailer had a number of other questions

  • Do I really have grey hair? Yup – two strands only… Except that i keep my hair so low these days that to all intents and purposes they are non- existent.
  • How many books do u read in a day? Whole books?? None.. Currently read a chapter of a non-academic book daily as part of my sleeping off routine.

Original Mgbeke had a few other questions

  • How tall are you? Original Mgbeke : 5-11 last time i went for a Medical
  • Do you have any absolute turn offs in a female? Yup quite a few… key one is that I can’t stand a nagging attitude, if we goofed on sommething, let’s admit it and find a plan to come out of it. No point reminiscing about it for like forever. I can’t stand a ‘know it all’ attitude especially when its obvious its so contrived.
  • How are things with the faith? Are you a born again Christian? Guess my old ‘About Me’ was the classic description. Born right, bred right, had a truly emotional God connection at 11, before i made a detour into the way of all flesh a few years ago. I made sorting out that one of my priorities for 2009. Only in March did I finally realize how far I’d gone, which prompted this post. Thankfully this post by Jaycee brought me to a place where I needed to take a descison. And I think I made the right one.. As Pastor Paul Adefarasin once said, I’m now God’s son, but only in the flesh – Got issues, but making progress with closing my gaps..
  • Apart from being a tried and true GEEK and blogging, what other things really interest you, DB? First off I don’t agree I am a Geek — whatever that means.. I just think I’m different. Guess thinking on the subject of life, playing the odd PC game, talking to my small circle of close peeps, trying my hand on different literary styles for the fun of it and Liverpool FC are the key interests I have.
  • The generic 5 year plan question… Well.. the 5 yr plan is  my plan… Sets out my near term (1 yr) and medium term (5 yr) goals each December. The next 5 yrs for me are critical.. I should finish my Msc this year, get my dream job back, possibly start chasing THE ONE in the 4th Qtr of this year…get married in 2011… Renew my Professional Memberships, take a couple of exams, learn french, get a career move in 2015… Lots of stuff

ButterCup had a few questions too..

  • What do you regard as the best thing that has happened to you? Several candidates — but overall it would have to be growing up in the house I did. At the time I thought my folks were uber harsh (I actually still have sketches from a book I started writing back in the day that I titled When Silence Was Golden – lol) and all that ish but looking back I can see they were under very intense pressures themselves and they inculcated characters into me that have helped me go as far as I have in life.
  • What do u think is/are your best quality/ies? Hmmm… My friends think I listen and I can genuinely relate to the stuff they share, plus  I give fairly decent advice. I think I have the ability to detach myself from a situation, no matter how complex and it helps me devise a solution most times.
  • If you were to live anywhere in the world, Nigeria excluded, where would you choose and why? Hmmm, would probably be Canada, some family friends went to Canada when I was very young and sent back pictures of snow and I told myself I would go there some day.. More recently I came close to taking up offers in the UK and the US.. Was admitted to the Queensland University of Technology back in ’02 but my job came and I opted to work instead, so Australia was also an option at some stage. Ultimately I think if its not Nigeria, its Canada — extremes maybe but it works for me.. LOL…
  • Hugs or kisses? (lol I saw this in some meme on fb) Can’t I have both? Guess hugs are more mesured and less obvious than kisses.. So I’d go for them if I had to choose. LOL..

Nice Anon asked a couple of questions…

  • With regards to the 5 year plan, do you think you have achieved most of it? Well.. I started a new 5 yr cycle this year.. I’d acheived the bulk of the last cycle except getting an Msc (which I now have started) and getting married. Current 5 year plan has key items as I have referenced in my comments to original mgbeke’s question. They are all achievable, albeit with a significant amount of energy input..LOL..
  • Have you gotten around to telling your FB crush that you like her? Remember no dulling! Well, FB crush is dead and buried I think.. We actually talk, quite a bit, and she’s cool, checks all the boxes and all that but there’s a guy I know who’s in the mix plus I had the unfortunate task of shrinking her early this year (two cardinal things that force my hand to migrate her into the just friend’s category). Short answer is we’re friends, but that’s where it ends…especially cos I’m taking a hiatus from the dating thing till the end of this year…
AJ

On the inherent inefficiencies in eating pounded yam!

I absolutely adore African food – I made it a point of duty to eat everything from amala, eba, party jollof rice, beans, moi-moi, yam porridge, nkwobi, and that peculiar Cally town culinary delight of Ekpangnkukwo as well as a sampling of soups – ogbono, egusi, afang, editan, afia efere (hmmmm), and even gala and several FanMilk icecreams flavours all in the space of 12 days. In fact, the ability to make piping hot akara is a key requirement of the future Mrs DB!

However, since my 2001 epiphany occasioned by a brief foray into the overall efficiencies of thermal power systems, I have as a matter of principle stopped eating pounded yam. The crux of my argument is that preparing it is so energy intensive that short of eating a double size helping, there is a net loss of energy.Back in the day, we would peel the yams, get them boiled in a pot and then transfer them to a mortar where they would be pummelled into a sticky paste of the consistency of dough for making bread. Considering that at the end of boiling, they were good enough to eat (and I typically fished a few pieces of yam to get a head start on procuring energy for the pounding session), why did we have to go the extra length of pounding them? Did it add more  energy to the yam? (Newton would suggest that that was not the case) Or was it merely for the satisfaction of eating pounded yam? Arguably, it probably tasted better pounded than when eaten as mere yam, but in the light of the energy usage was it worth the incremental satisfaction. I would beg to argue that it didn’t.

Of course, we can now buy yam flour (which may contain sulfites by the way), or pound the yam electrically (which is still an added energy use – albeit without the aching arms and tired limbs that physically pounding it came with). But if the thoughts of my iyan loving friends are anything to go by, it doesn’t taste like the real deal! My advice – quit eating it altogether, or only eat it at a Mama Put joint so that the extra energy cost of preparing it borne by someone else. That may be the first step in signficantly reducing Africa’s contribution to green house gas emissions!

AJ

Absurd? Or maybe its ‘Just Fine’….

Found this news story on the daily telegraph… Apparently in the relatively quiet backwaters of Sunderland, a certain Mr and Mrs Cartwright could potentially face jail term over violation of an anti-social behavior order.. The crime?  Noise making of a curious kind! If only I could get them to sort out the French flatmate I have who persists in bothering my celibate ears every two weeks, that would be just fine!!!!

Read the full story here.

AJ

Back…… and thoughts on People and Airport Lounges

So after a maelstrom 12 days of travel and activity;  7 cities, 4 major events, and lots of travel time I’m finally back to hopefully face my books squarely. Thankfully, I met all but one of the 9 key objectives I set out to achieve. I had three full hours to kill at Heathrow both ways and for want of something more mentally challenging to do, I decided to try to categorize the African/ Naija people around.. I thought they fit broadly into ten categories.. Enjoy….

1. Madam Kofo: Those who were old enough to watch Ken Saro Wiwa’s Basi and Company will remember this type. Loud, bossy and having an over-inflated sense of importance they let the whole world know “it’s a matter of cash”. This was typified in my study by a slightly overweight, dressed ‘to match’ woman  – her box, shirt & shoe were all in the same shade of yellow! She spent the entire waiting period on the phone with one family  member or the other dishing out instructions…… on clothes!

2. Been-to dude: This fella has travelled quite a bit… Might also possibly have lived ‘overs’ for a while and thus tries to portray an image of a tech savy, super cool dude. My example was an Ipod toting, laptop using, bluetooth headset sporting naija dude with a lot of assciated bling-bling – a stud ear ring in the left ear, and hair so shiny I could have sworn I could see my reflection in it.

3. Community boy: Na community contribution dem take send this boi go school so he’s maxed out on the number of bags he can carry, and they are full of enuf things – garri, elubo, beans, yams etc etc.. LOL..

4. Mama Agba: Mama Agba is the occasional flier who is still yet to overcome her trepidation at flying. As such she resorts to all things spiritual: a big cross for jewelry, plus a rosary or other prayer bead very conspicuously displayed. Unfortunately I eventually set next to one of this types and I was treated to incessant bissimilahis every time there was event the slightest whiff of turbulence.

5. Attention seking fyyyyyne chic: Mehn.. this wan na phonetics go kill am o… An Ipod may or may not be an accessory.. But this chica has little hand luggage which must include a high street brand. In relatively warm weather, the standard dress code is a  spaghetti top with a denim wrapped round the waist and jeans trousers — very dengeferous chikita. Plus some chewing gum.. The 90 degree broken hand pose is also a key trademark of this kind of traveller.

6. Mummy: This type has two to three small kids, one of whom is so full of energy Usain Bolt would be hard pressed to keep up on his best day. If Daddy is travelling he pretends to organize the boxes whilst mummy is fully engaged with keeping the children in tow..LOL

7. Well travelled Pa-ale and Ma-ale: These are typically much older peeps who have trained a generation of mid-level aristocrats – quite possibly they themselves schooled the country as such they speak impeccable English in measured tones, dress appropriately (possibly in some simple African attire) and engage every young guy or girl around in discussions on the weather, or some other innocuous topic supposedly of general inteserest.

8. Open eye dude: This guy dey form sharp man.. E no know road o, but e no wan ask. Na so so waka waka the guy dey do…

9. Nna Bros: Is the male equivalent of the Madam Kofo type, except that his own instructions concern containers, repairs and/or work on assets.. Nuf said!

10. Oil Company Worker: Possibly sporting one of them free t-shirts that get shared for safety week or for the achievement of corporate milestones, this dude sets out to demonstrate his importance. Dude on my flight had an Erha Project t-shirt on blue jeans and talked loads of crap about work- ostensibly with a colleague who needed guidance from him…

Edit — Unfortunately, our Customs officials in Lagos took away all your gala and suya.. as well as made me pay over two thousand naira for some small beans that probably cost less than one thousand naira to buy.. So vent your anger on them not me..LOL

AJ

My very own ‘Bachelor’s Conundrum’

I’m at a crossroad of sorts — not life threatening, not even 5-year-plan shaking just yet, but a conundrum nonetheless…

There is the gravitation towards SAFETY; the attraction to the proverbial tried and tested terra firma, then there is the lure of ADVENTURE; the exhilarating heights that finally conquering some not so far-flung terra incognito promises, and then there is the potential SATISFACTION that finally decomposing a thorny problem promises…

Which way shall I turn, or shall I just bury my head in the sand and pretend its a midsummer’s night dream from which I shall awake with Technicolor clarity. Or just maybe these are the first steps to yet another analysis paralysis debacle…..

AJ

Finally Home.

For TheB, and all the other broken hearts…

Though tears like a river course down like rain,
And your heart by cupid’s fiery barbs is rent.
Although your cracked voice breaks out in wails,
And hell with all its fury and fiends seem sent.
Be still, Stay strong, you’ll make it home.

Though fear like a cloak your mind enshrouds,
And rabid voices, your reasoning besiege.
Though Night descends, your dreams to hound,
And heart beats resonate to a symphony of rage.
Be still, Stay strong, you’ll make it home.

Tears will fall down, but they only last so long,
Fiery barbs in time, will lie as cold as ash.
Cracked voices soon will yield to flowing tongues,
And hell with all its fury will soon seem all too brash.
Your fears? They’ll fade away like the chimes of bells once rung,
The voices in your head will soon seem not so harsh.
The light will come, and night’s darkness leave unsung

With heart beats racing to a different dialogue,
You’ll finally see, you really made it home.

AJ

On Virtual Communities… Again…

Quite an interesting discussion the last post generated. I for one believe that virtual communities have their place, but they should not be allowed to upstage our real life relationships. I’ve made real friends from blogging that I would include in my Top Ten all time friends, but that has come about because at some stage I, or they reached out and made contact beyond what the very open forum of blogging can provide. I’ve tried to summarize the positions you all held and tried to comment.. Enjoy…

Farida talked about the opportunity to raise issues and fight injustices via the vehicle of blogging: I agree explicitly with you on that one. The global accessibility that the internet provides makes it a great tool to raise awareness on topical issues – if people get to read it that is. With the level of internet penetration in Nigeria though, I’d be very surprised if blogs do not merely cater to the already intellectually aware.

Rita talked about the benefits of open dialogue and the improvements it has brought to real world relationships: WOW… Great point you raised, open dialogue when conducted in a respectful and unbiased manner can only be for the greater good.

BSNC talked about the learnings and the feeling of family: Valid point. I do feel that our own corner of the Blogosphere has done pretty well in adding some ‘realness’ to the virtual connections that we have. Beauty of it is people can choose to share as little or as much as they want. Good to know you are learning and discovering yourself as you blog. LOL @ giving you a headache… Maybe some headaches are good?

Simeone talked about the sharing and interaction and the potential for awkwardness when we take relationships beyond being just virtual: I agree. I’ve always being intrigued by the huge potential for collaboration that online communities CAN provide, if done right. Feel you on the potential for some awkwardness that comes from going a little beyond virtual. I do agree we’re doing great in our own little corner too.

Caramel Delight talked about her original reasons for blogging and the potential dark side to building ‘extra-community connections: Good to know your original reason for blogging is still very much in focus. And yes, we do all have problems in our real worlds. Good to know also that you’ve made a ‘real’ friend from blogging – it goes to show that virtual community can expand into real community IF we do things right. Real insights into the darker side of virtual community too. Its very easy to spice up the details of our lives just to give the impression of being cool, more so a danger in the anonymous world that is blogging – real note of caution that we need to keep resounding in our ears for our safety.
P.S. The book is available on Amazon.

LuciousRon talked about the depths of the mind and the satisfaction that comes from interacting intellectually: Spot on LuciousRon… Writing often allows people to be what they can’t be in real life. I would aver that people who are timid in real life but who write well are possibly being stifled by the environment of intimidation or censure that they grew up in. Possibly the open discussion that blogging can promote can help them actualize their real potential?

Kafo talked about blogging making her more real: Success story. Thanks for sharing.

Cider talked about the wealth of things to read on blogger and touched on the distraction that technology can bring: Valid points Cider. Again the open discussion that blogging allows can only be for the better. Have to agree with the distraction thing though. I stumbled on the book cos I was feeling cluttered by all my online activities.

LoloBloggs talked about the benefits that technology can bring: Spoken like a true techie, LoloBloggs. As you hint at, its ultimately about balance – balance between the knowledge that technology can bring to our lives and the clutter that it can also engender.

Neffie talked about the openness of mind, a friendship she’s built through blogging and gave a thumbs up to blogsville: Valid points you raised. Again, the open mind thing comes from the ability to have open discussions in a generally respectful way. God to know you have a success story with a friendship from blogger.

Original Mgbeke talked about her personal experiences of virtual communities: Success story you have here that seems to illustrate that virtual communities only satiate our need for community in the short term. If real connections are the goal, then extra-community connections have to be built.

Buttercup talked about maturing through blogging: Another success story I think. Guess its another argument for promoting open, honest dialogue in all facets of our lives – not just on blogger.

Rose talked about gaining a wider view and the need for self-discipline: Looks like the benefits of open dialogue and the need for self-discipline are recurring themes. Thanks for sharing.

Readydee talked about a lack of true community, and the potential for addiction: I agree largely with you. The book has a whole chapter dedicated to the subject of virtual community. I’d really recommend you grab a copy for a more detailed look at the subject. Virtual community is described as cotton candy, which goes down easy and satiates our immediate hunger but doesn’t provide much in the way of sustainable nutrition. As you touched upon, real friendships can only be built on a platform of sharing truthfully. I would add that a blog is open to the general public and only by providing skeletal details or staying anonymous can a distinction between intimate friends and virtual friends be made. That’s where I feel extra-community interactions come in. The friends I’ve made on blogger who I would add to my real friends list came about by talking a whole lot more than responding to blog posts.. Good luck on the de-blogging mode… I really hope you get to pull it off – or at least find a way to achieve balance between the real and virtual worlds.. Trust me its really difficult, sometime radical surgery is the only solution there is.

Temite shared her personal experiences: Good stuff, a BFF and three sisters? That has to be an unmitigated success. Key is to know where to draw the line though, between being part of the community for the sake of being part or grabbing yourself some improvements as a result.

Bwari Boy talked about the widened perspective on issues and the exposure to other people’s ideas: Another great advert for open dialogue in our real lives I think.. Thanks for sharing.

Justdoyin talked about her reasons for blogging and touched on the more open view that has come about by blogging: Valid points. Guess the key is to keep the original reason for blogging in view. That should help prioritize the kinds of connections you build on blogger.

Sirius talked about her reasons for blogging and hints at the darker side to it: Valid points you raised. LOL @ loving gist… Very succint summary i think.

AJ

On Technology…. Flickering Pixels…

 

shane-hipps-flickering-pixels

I jumped at the chance to participate in BlogTourSpot’s review of Shane Hipps new book:  Flickering Pixels – How Technology Shapes Your Faith for two reasons. I was at a stage where I thought the clutter of technology was squeezing sense out of my normal life, plus I’d get a copy of the book for free.

The author’s background is in advertising, which has given him a unique insight into the working of media and how it is changing how we think, which ultimately affects how we share and live out our faith. The book sets out in broad strokes the insidious dangers that the changes media brings to our lives can generate, and by sounding out a clarion call, we can be on the lookout for them and avoid them as they arise. Several key points stand out
1. All Faith is based on communication – either from God to us or between us as adherents, and the way we primarily communicate affects our interpretation of our faith.
2. Each more ‘efficient’ means of communication we pick up has a dark side – it increases the propensity to clutter rather than clarify.
3. Media is not neutral – the message we actually get from communicating is both dependent on the message and the medium.
4. Pictures & Images (such as television) hijack our imagination. Words and printed matter however encourage us to generate our own images of the concepts being discussed, as opposed to being fed an image which in reality is one man’s interpretation of the words behind the image.
5. We have slowly become a tribe of individuals – sharing experiences on an unprecedented scale (shared experiences build community, a ‘tribal’ ethos) but yet utilizing the self same tools to build an illusion of closeness whilst in reality, it is only yet another layer of interaction, another screen between the real us and the next person.
6. For Christians, we are both the medium and the message and all other forms of communication should only be to facilitate that primary, face to face communication model, not replace it.

In addition to blogging, I’ve been active in virtual communities for a long time, as well as being the administrator of an online home for my class from undergraduate school. I’ve seen virtual communities both work and not work. The key differences between successful and failing virtual communities seems to be

  • A defined role for the community: A place to vent, a place to collaborate, or even a place to demonstrate your coolness (which sadly is becoming more and more a reason to be in a virtual community these days). Being part of a community just for the sake of it detracts from the usefulness of the community as a whole.
  • Extra – community connections: Virtual community “satiates our immediate hunger but doesn’t provide much in the way of sustainable nutrition”. Often I have found that the communities that succeeded were those in which members were communicating on a more personal level outside the context of the community, or using the interaction at the level of the community to sustain real life connections.
  • A sense of scale: Members of virtual communities have day jobs – things they do in their real lives. Keeping the community going is dependent on being able to keep our interactions at the right scale. Recognizing the potential danger of clutter is key to succeeding. I found that out the hard way when simply reading blogs began to take over three to four hours of my daily time.

I’d like to throw out a few discussion questions

  • How have online communities affected the way you think, act and maintain your relationships in your real life?
  • Why did you start blogging and how would you rate your current state versus your initial expectations.
  • Are there any real life connections you’ve built entirely from an online starting point and are there any you’ve lost as a result?
  • How would you rate our own corner of the Blogosphere on the critical success factors for online communities?

Up for some more stimulating discussions? Join the debate here

AJ

Live in Las Gidi

well……. db is live in las gidi after much! thankfully the peeps @ mtn reactivated my contract, so i’m good to roll…albeit intermittently via a USB connection between my lappie and my phone! now i need to locate ‘mama put’ for some piping hot amala and ewedu soup…

keep those questions for the 29th rolling in..looking very interesting already…..

cheers peeps!

AJ

A Final lyrical response to… ‘The scathing sonnet’

Minerva in all her dainty, god-like, grandeur failed to walk,
On the slippery inclines you choose to run.
Buxom Efik Princesses turned tail and baulked,
But you bashfully refuse away to turn.

Like Polaris oblivious to the lure of southern skies,
Unfazed by the heady fumes that rise so high,
I refrain in spite of many tries,
From Cupid’s fiery barbs which doth truly fly.

Shall you, o little lady, proceed?
Where others of ilk more intense have floundered?
Shall your sultry charms succeed?
Where others of great skill have turned and surrendered?

Let Time be the Judge if you will titillate
Or else your best charms shall only irritate.