Not feeling it…

Sleep and I have never been the best of friends. As far down the labyrinths of memories that I can navigate I find that I have always been an early sleeper, prone to be awakened by the lightest of commotions. Perhaps it is me clutching at omens – seeking to find solace in unrelated events – but days when I have awakened early with full control of my senses something momentous has happened.

The morning before I face the latest interview panel, I wake up at 2am. It is one of those nights when sleep seems to depart early, and all I have left to do is count sheep, twist and turn, and hope that dawn brings respite from the feeling of general malaise. As a consequence, I am not exactly in the best of moods when the interview starts. The interviewer also does a great job of getting under my skin, and I field a few gaffes. I can sense control slipping from my hands on this occasion. The back story is that I don’t think I like the role on offer, nor the people who I would report to directly. I’m just not feeling it…

Waiting (Part 2)

I think I’ll get the job. Our discussions went very well, the interviewers were very friendly, and only just stopped short of saying they didn’t see why an offer could not be made ASAP. I had scaled through the technical bits of the interview a few weeks ago before meeting up with the HR folks this time. Fingers crossed though. And there is an option to remain in my city! Now that’s some good news, first bits of decent news in a while too.

Waiting.

The bad part of waiting is the uncertainty – the vacillation between extreme positions, the rehashing of the entire sequence of events in the mind seeking clues as to how it went – and the undoubted clarity that hindsight often brings along with all the could-haves and should-haves that tag along.

I am waiting, have been waiting since a couple of days ago, for a response from the chaps I spoke to. I thought we had fruitful discussions, answered all the questions they asked, and chipped in with a few myself to ensure their expectations for the proposed role matched mine. Now, its time for the wait, while they decide if we are a match enough to progress to the next stage. Fingers crossed, done my bit now, all I can do is wait…… and hope……