The Mother’s Day Conundrum..

My Mother is my mother – so in theory, I should send her a gift for Mother’s  Day – that’s a given, even if its only an extra long phone call 🙂

What worries me though – and this is all altruistic –  is where the wives, the sister who is now a mother,  the aunts and the girlfriends fit. The wife, or official girlfriend is a critical case in point;  they are not your mother, and they usually do not have children who are old enough to get them gifts for the day – but they do have the influence and ability to make the day horrible for one….

So do we,  in the interest of peace because we love them soo much, assume the responsibilities – which leaves us blokes even more confused  – or do they simply chin up and wait till their own children grow up and get them gifts? Is there even a category for prospective mothers? Or does it really matter?

24 thoughts on “The Mother’s Day Conundrum..

  1. IMO the girlfriends who arent mothers yet should take it easy na. Whats the hurry.

    The sisters, and friends who are now mothers, well its a choice if u want to send em gifts but the primary sender should be their husbands.

    My brother is clueless about these things and his kids are too small to know about gifts so at times like these, i call my sister in law and try to be extra nice. She needs it 😀

    happy mother's day Mrs. RustGeek


  2. This is my theory:

    Own mother: Warrants a call/gift etc.

    Own wife: Same as own mother. She's the mother of one's kids after all. But what if there are no children yet and/or having children is an emotional issue?

    Own sister(s): Phone call or visit but MUST BE a mother to qualify.

    Aunts: A bit tricky since everyone is an 'Aunty' in Nigerian culture but there have to be boundaries and it all depends on how close one is to the 'Aunty' in question (relative by blood or not). MUST BE a mother to qualify sha regardless.

    Girlfriends: Only deserves something if she's the mother of one's child. Barring that, NADA.

    All prospective mothers: NADA. Own wife may be exempted from this.


  3. i really should go to bed
    but yeah
    give it to the people you want to
    i really am fed up with others dictating my actions.
    give it to your mom whenever u want to and not on some date predetermined by a bunch of whining CEO

    give it to the ladies in your life that u feel exemplify whatever needs to be exemplified



  4. they should wait till their kids grow, but there is not harm giving them a gift though. DB there is no confusion there, just use your church mind( if you have


  5. Mothers -those who have given birth to children -get shown love (presents, calls, hollas, whatever) on
    Mothers Day.
    Its only makes sense.
    Girlfriends don't have the right to whine-unless they are Mothers.

    If your wife is a Mother, itd behove you to do something special.

    All other Aunts and Aunt-like appendages deserve some sort of mobile greeting -at least.
    -my 2 cents


  6. i thought mothers were supposed to give gifts to their kids on mothers day and the children are supposed to gracefully accept?


  7. @tunrayo — lol @ your clueless brother.. I'm sure a lot of us blokes can relate to that!
    @KG – Quite a detailed response.. Err NADA for some people can induce the silent treatment though.. Choppy water here..
    @Kafo — LOL.. Hopefully you slept — eventually!
    @Azazel — That's the direction I'm leaning in man.. But then, there are extenuating circumstances..
    @funkola — ahn..ok o..
    @Kikky — My thoughts precisely.. Just wondering if those who dont have them – or have small ones – get any love on this day though..
    @BSNC — Err.. POint noted.. Meanwhile what are you insuinating o??? Of course I have a 'church' mind..
    @Caramel Delight — LOL.. Done that.. Just wondering if the others have any 'statutory' rights on this day.. 🙂
    @La Reine — Very well said, I have to say… Sounds workable too!
    @Temite — LOL.. For real? I wish it were so though.. Sigh..
    @She — LOL.. Your minimalist definition should work…


  8. Lol…RustGeek…just give your mom a gift. Every other moms in your life (siblings etc) can do well with cards or just wishes.

    I never knew men over analyzed stuff like we do.


  9. It's not Mother's Day here in Canada, so I will not be calling my mother. I spoke to her last night. That conversation should suffice for today. Truth be told, I need to buy a calling card tomorrow 🙂

    I think only your own mother deserves the special love, not EVERY woman or potential mother out there. My heart is just not big enough to accommodate all that womanhood.


  10. Well spoken. I never thought I would agree with this opinion, but I'm starting to see things from a different view. I definitely want research more on this as it seems very interesting. One thing I don't get though is how everything is related together.


  11. My mother calls me every Sunday, naija or america mothers day is on Sunday so i tell her happy mothers day…i cant do anything special for her until i see her…but i think for ur wife once she has a child for you, then even if you don't buy anything make sure u acknowledge the day still and say thank you for giving birth to my beautiful child…..why the hell u giving a gf anything is the real question?


  12. Yes o!!! the wife should totally get a gift!! don't the vows say something about being your mother, lover, and friend? gf = get you're loving on valentines.
    P.S – Mr. RustGeek all these questions on top leaving reply?? Name, email, and webbie..I tire o!
    P.P.S – Happy New Year!!!!!


    • It's past the day but this could be useful for next year :).

      Mother's day for me means all mums(birth, adoptive, guardian etc) not all women.

      I think if your wife is a mum, you should get her a mother's gift/card/treat even if the children are tiny because when father's day comes you will be getting something too and you know it was not the two-month old baby that went out shopping for it.

      As for girlfriends and everyone else, they can chill for their own holiday. That's what birthdays are for.


  13. Me too, I think the ladies woudl have to wait till those they have 'mothered' are old enough to appreciate them, abi wetin man go do?

    Wife, girlfriend have their own days


  14. When this this whole gift giving for everything start sef?? Why will a GF/Fiance/Wife [sef] that isn't mother be expecting anything?? I mean other than the 'complementary' "happy [future] mothers day" Abeg jare.

    Siblings/Aunties etc get a greeting or a card if you're just nice like that. lol

    Friends get a greeting…ie if you remember.



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