I really would shoot someone if I could. The neighbour decided to have a party and proceeded to deliver an extra loud one – music blaring at obscene levels, people shuffling in the name of dance and setting off vibrations in the entire house. They live above my flat, so I was forced to be privy to the wacky selections the DJ put together. They didn’t even have the courtesy to pre-inform us of their intentions. Thankfully my days here are numbered! Can’t let anyone rain on my parade!
She still wore her hair in a ‘fro… still wore only lip gloss… still wore a yellow shirt and black pants….still followed Liverpool… still had the dimple on her left cheek…. still wrote with her left hand… still kept a big jar of peanut butter in her fridge….still laughed at my inane jokes…still hummed whilst making her mean stew!
I could be forgiven for thinking that time had stood still…. and it was the first day again….. only she was more grown up… More alluring.. more woman less girl…
The first time … was one Monday in April.. She was….barely sixteen… had just made the jump from her secondary school to her first year Economics class… and she needed help with calculus. I fit the bill – top of my class, supposedly the calculus guru complete with bushy hair … and I was a cousin to her best friend. I think did my bit… Not sure how much input I had.. but she nailed an alpha on the course…. and I kept up my big brother paroles for a couple of years before I quit school, served the nation and vanished into the belly of the south south… eking out a living in the swamps..
The next time was five years later.. I was up to Lagos all week on work, she was working on the Island….We stole lunch every day.. Thirty minutes of pure bliss – she, Fred, Di and I….. Fred was the buddy of mine who was her knight in shining armour.. Di was my best friend of twenty years and counting…..
The last time.. was that day…She heard I was in town… She called me.. I knew I would never be forgiven if I didn’t see her. Five years down the road… She and Fred are history.. I blew my big chance with Di.. and the-one-after-Di….. Fred is my buddy and has been for nearly ten years….. She and the-one-after-Di are still close friends…..
Life’s complicated good, innit?
The last few months for me have been quotidian – bereft of any but the most mundane exertions of eating, sleeping and surfing the internet. Thanks to the fortuitous event of my getting a real job a few months ahead of schedule, I have convinced myself that all I should be doing at this time is to rest and prepare for the big challenge ahead. Sadly, its been a lot more of rest and ungodly amounts of sleep than any real study or preparation. Am I becoming a bum? January can’t come quickly enough for me it seems.
By the time you read this, I would have completed the penultimate item on version 6.02 of the five year plan.
26k pounds in expenses, 52k pounds in deferred lost earnings, 4 months of second guessing myself, wondering if this was the right move in retrospect…. And all I get were two short minutes of fame…. 2 minutes where I donned the cape, got the hood and took the twelve steps eastward across the stage to lose my hand in his pudgy one!
Should I have done it? Was it the right move or even the best in hindsight? I don’t know… Would I do it all over again?
YES.. Even if the same sequence of events played out!
They called me. Number was hidden, my phone was on silent, so I missed it the first time. They left a voicemail – asking me to give them a call back. I did and yes we did it! I am to start off the first week of February, so I have a few months to put my feet up and drink some beer (or not)… Thanks to The Source and Myne Whitman who have read my constant prattle for the past few months. You are real Therapists.
Our Ref: JustDB-09-20/2011
Location: StuckVille, Limboland
Further to your recent application, we regret to inform you that after careful consideration it has been decided not to proceed with your application on this occasion. Please be informed that in line with our Corporate Recruitment guidelines, you are not eligible to reapply for this or any other position till December 31st, 2012.
May we take this opportunity to wish you every success in your future career and thank you for the interest you have shown.
I hate that you are always on my mind. I tell myself I really don’t mind that we do not talk any more. The brutal truth is that I mind! And worse, that it hurts – like a deeply seated wound that no salve can reach. Only a few months ago, it seemed the world was at our feet and that the sun would shine forever. A part of me wants to believe that you still care, that you still remember – I’m not sure it matters either way. We are done.
Tim Harford, author of The Undercover Economist, writes an intriguing blog at the Financial Times where he provides advice from an Economics standpoint on everyday issues. My current favourites are his analysis of a 32-year old American woman’s conundrum: to stay single in Italy or return to San Francisco, a man’s plea for deliverance from a Walmart hating wife, the statistics on loving and losing, the useless PA challenge and consumer choice theory applications for the good boy vs bad boy debate!