Twiddling Thumbs…

She popped up on my IM window today – the first time in months that she has. In an oddly unsettling way, it seems odd that she appeared. Odd becuase a mere few months ago, we were seemingly inseparable. I was caught in two minds – to buzz her or not… Truth is there was never any closure. All we had was a slow drifting apart as we each sought to focus more on our own things…. In theory, we are still normal – still friends, still confidants – the only difference from the days of a somewhat burgeoning friendship being the fact that life has happened, and squeezed the ‘thing’ I thought could grow into a dry lifeless crust.

It’s life though… As the French say C’est La Vie…

Life’s Like That..

In retrospect…. Life happens.. With or without our consents…. And in its wake often comes change.. which we by default detest. Over time, we develop safe routines, coping mechanisms and default positions to deal with life – ultimately acquiring some semblance of balance.

Sometimes change is subtle; imperceptibly modifying the place where we are on the continuum of life, instigating minor perturbations – little oscillations if you like – around our equilibrium positions. The pragmatic thing to do then is to try to hold the fort, to resist change and maintain the status quo.

At other times though, change is radical – make that destructive – ripping to shreds the semblance of normalcy that we have settled into and forcing us to ask the ‘why me’ question. This change is frightening, and it can often feel as though all we have laboured for has been washed away in a flash flood.

The good thing though is that life is like a non-conservative vector field for which the closed line integral is not zero. Even when we seem to have come full circle, work has been done in moving us around the field. We have been changed and improved, and can face the daunting challenge of re-starting life with the confidence of the experience garnered the first time out.

Perhaps then calamitous change is good – new wine cannot co-exist with old wine skins – and old structures need to be removed from the state of play for the new to be built.

In many ways, I am seemingly back to Square One… The view from here though is that it is time to go back to the drawing board and retool a leaner, meaner machine!

Bring on the New Life….