Clarity calls…..

I don’t wanna feel like this tomorrow
I don’t wanna live like this today
Make me feel better
I wanna feel better
Stay with me here now
And never surrender

Today, in a bizarre moment of clarity, I realized I had parked my bus for way too long at a bus stop that wasn’t mine… A lot of energy was dissipated, focus diluted and time irretrievably wasted in the process.. Funnily, I knew a year ago very clearly what I should have done – it was reiterated  very strongly five months ago –  but the deeply seated nostalgic memories continued to keep me deluded, holding me in a mistaken belief that it could work and banishing my usually ruthless streak to the background…

Today, me the pragmatist won, belatedly of course, but better late than never…….. And in a queer way, it feels so right!

Thanks to Seye Kuyinu for tweeting about the Skillet Song Never Surrender, it added fresh impetus to my new direction…

26 comments

  1. leggy · September 22, 2009

    wow…you are right….better late than never.
    liked the song too.

    Like

  2. RepressedOne · September 23, 2009

    …is this the conclusion to that your '30/60/90+ day saga' post? [I forget the title]??

    Like

  3. Trybes · September 23, 2009

    Its never too late to retrace ones steps..Now your armed with a couple of personal experience and lessons you hitherto had no knowledge of –This will thrust you forward in the right way you should go..Best of luck on your new route.

    Like

  4. Fabulo-la · September 23, 2009

    "Do you know what it’s like when
    You’re scared to see yourself
    Do you know what it’s like when
    You wish you were someone else
    Who didn’t need your help to get by
    Do you know what it’s like
    To wanna surrender"

    The song just…..

    I have no words.

    Like

  5. Sugarking · September 23, 2009

    Ah, Me I no sabi d song, but I said I must comment here! Nice One!

    Like

  6. theOOhj · September 23, 2009

    @leggy – true.. where there is life, change can still occur..
    @repressedone – hmmm.. not quite.. it’s a conclusion to several things…and the 90 day thingy wasn’t exactly my story…
    @trybes – thanks bro… lessons have been learnt… hopefully I can apply them..
    @fabulo-la – the song broke me like Yusef Komunyaka’s ode to a drum did me in
    @sugarking – LOL.. Thanks man..

    Like

  7. Hyaw · September 23, 2009

    'Packed at a bus stop thats not mine' hmmm. . . im familiar wit that. . Won at last huh. . . Its Always beta better late than never.. . .

    Like

  8. Temite · September 23, 2009

    Oh dear
    It is well and you will be just fine.

    Like

  9. Sunnyside · September 23, 2009

    Better late than never.. . . Nice one

    Like

  10. countassa · September 23, 2009

    ahhhh…oga…wich levels…does this mean wat i think it means…imma beep u in a hawt minute….this even makes me feel more out of sync…hapi u finally found the way!

    Like

  11. funkola · September 23, 2009

    sigh! i feel like this on a particular issue. i hope i get to drive away from d bus stop dat's not mine pretty soon. very inspiring post.

    Like

  12. theOOhj · September 23, 2009

    @HYAW – Hmm.. true…always great to make a change at some stage I guess… I like to imagine I won at last though.. time only can clarify that..
    @Temite – Yup, I hope so..
    @Sunnyside – I agree.. Thanks
    @countessa – hmm… hopefully you are clear now?
    @funkola – thanks for stopping by… I guess we all have our kryptonite issues..

    Like

  13. Gochi · September 23, 2009

    I read somewhere, that "No matter how far you have gone on the wrong road, turn back" I think it's sound advice…

    So regardless of procastination, you eventually made the decision, it is definately better late than never.

    All's well! 🙂

    Like

  14. olufunke · September 23, 2009

    I cannot agree with you more…its 'berrer later than never.
    I feel you.
    It happens…….. 'the optimistic part of us keeps wanting to hold on, keeps believing, keeps hoping, keeps wanting to see only what we desire to see, even when the signs ( that it wont work) are screaming at us.
    After all….they always say 'keep hope alive'

    but thank God for the clarity that eventually comes and the opportunity to be able to try at it again….or to get a place that is blissful, peaceful and better suited for us to re-park our bus 🙂
    Nicely written as usual.

    Like

  15. Spesh · September 23, 2009

    I am a bit confused……………….
    oh ok,I think I get it nw……..Gud job,Seye!

    Like

  16. Spesh · September 23, 2009

    I am a bit confused………I need clarity as well……………….lol!

    Like

  17. Telekinesys · September 23, 2009

    Hmmm… This is so me right now.

    Like

  18. Sassy · September 23, 2009

    You will be okay my dear..
    just as you say… Better late than ever.

    Like

  19. hyaw · September 23, 2009

    you the pragmatist won. reminds me of your short story. well, thank God for your life

    Like

  20. lyrics · September 23, 2009

    'parked at a bus stop that wasn't yours'. such ingenuity in your lines. this is good news i guess

    Like

  21. Myne White · September 23, 2009

    Never surrender, just listened to the song. Nice. All the best as you move on, take care.

    Like

  22. Good Naija Girl · September 24, 2009

    Sometimes it feels like we need to be hit over the head before we do what we should have done all along. I can definitely relate. I regard my "delay tactics" (what I do before I do what I should have done all along) as a hopeless case of optimism, if that makes any sense.

    I'm glad you're back on track…definitely better late than never!

    Like

  23. Enkay · September 24, 2009

    Truth is, sometimes having an 'epiphany' such as this doesn't necessarily make you feel good seeing as you've wasted precious time barking up the wrong tree.

    Good thing though, is that you're making progress in the right direction and the 'good feeling' will come later.

    All the best!

    Like

  24. Anoda Phase · September 24, 2009

    yeah, "better late than never"…I'm glad u've come through…all d best.

    Like

  25. naijagirl · September 25, 2009

    its always good to have that eye opener or morning call.

    i couldnt help but wonder what you would have done years ago. hmmmm

    Like

  26. theOOhj · October 16, 2009

    @all — true words… at least where there is life, there is hope….

    Like

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