Quite a few changes have occurred around me in the last few weeks… chief of which was moving out of my previous lodgings for a flat where a couple of blokes I have known from Nigeria are staying. All has been fine and dandy except for a few issues namely:
1. The boys can snore! Chei, sometimes it sounds like a contest. Different people all ‘hee-hawing’ simultaneously. The paper thin walls fail colossally in muffling the sounds!
2. One of the men has his wifey around and she is a REEAAAAL talker! Not since my 5 year old cousin have I heard a voice so nasal. It rubs me like the way a restless dog’s chain persistently rubs the ground!
3. One boy dey try form sharp man! One of the boys, we’ll call him Duro, is a real pain. Despite him not being an official member of the house, he manages to get himself the largest portions of food, monopolize the TV remote and generally be a nuisance, plus he is always attempting to regale me with stories of his numerous girlfriends.. I usually pretend to be typing away furiously on my BB, that is sadly not enough of a deterrent!
4.I am constantly pleading the blood of Jesus! I’ve been using a lot of buses and the metro, but the things I inhale, only God knows where they are from. All sorts of coughs – body wracking, gruttal, delayed explosive, chesty and a whole lot of others are being lobbed in my direction. Plus quite a few overly tipsy peeps also use the bus late at night….. How the females manage to stay on their feet in their mega inch heels with all that alcohol leaves me flummoxed!
On the plus side though, I sneaked into London and managed to see Delirious? at the o2 arena! and hung out with some sections of the extended family… Inevitably some questions came up, but I have the perfect anti-dote.. the 5 year plan!