The Anatomy of a Blogsville Addiction

Peeps thanks for your best wishes per my birthday.. Pleasantly surprised by the responses..

The information provided below is provided ‘as-is’ for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. If in doubt, see your GP.

You know you need help fast when:

  1. You almost sign off a cheque as your blogger ‘self’ – when money no longer forces clarity on you, wahala dey o.
  2. The last time you ‘spoke’ to your flatmate was on Facebook – especially if the bloke is just two doors away. Not good!
  3. Your supposedly ‘favorite’ cousin has to resort to using the ‘Contact Me’ form on your blog to reach you!  – first it is a cardinal sin that your cousin reads your ‘anonymous’ blog, secondly its a major failure that you’re not constantly pacifying him/her.
  4. You live a walking distance from a stadium that hosts Premier League football – but all you want to do is constantly refresh the BBC football page for the latest score and read blogs – it doesn’t get much worse than this.
  5. Your 10+ year addiction, Football Manager, suddenly fails to attract your attention anymore – this seems to suggest there may be a ‘spiritual’ dimension to the whole thing. Call in the ‘Cele ‘ peeps sharply mehn.
  6. When pressed for an example in the midst of a discussion, the first stories that come to mind are from Blogs you read! – this has the added effect of potentially inducing a bizarre condition informally referred to as encephalotisitic fatigitis
  7. The night before your big exam you still create time for blog rounds and you then get into a verbal war of words that extends late into the night – especially when you know the full ramifications of not getting an alpha on that exam! – this one requires serious beating – fan belt/ koboko everything… serious unseriousness.
  8. You see bloggers – who you have never met any ways – in your dreams and you ‘just know’ it is them! Another reason to get the ‘Cele’ peeps on the job ASAP.
  9. You read a post and somehow think it’s a slight on you or worse rather than engage people in the real life you vent your anger on your blog – this demonstrates bloke needs to grow up sharpish……
  10. You start wondering which of the events in your world were blogged about by others in the past or worse you give every one around you the suspicious ‘eye’  – Not everyone blogs, and if they did, it doesn’t affect you..
  11. You wake up and the first thing on your mind is/are the post(s) you need to create.  HT to SolomonSydelle for pointing out the critical omission!
  12. You find it hard to differentiate between your real and virtual friends – HT to Favoured Girl for unearthing this one.
  13. All your current romantic interests are people you have never even seen –we’ll need to add Papa Adeboye to the consortium organizing the prayers to resolve this one. HT to a certain anonymous for unearthing this one!
  14. You spend time on blogger instead of working in the midst of a recession. HT to Original Mgbeke for supplying this one – when the bill paying JOB pales in significance to another activity… Kasala dey try burst be that o….

36 thoughts on “The Anatomy of a Blogsville Addiction

  1. Pingback: » The Anatomy of a Blogsville Addiction Just Thinking……

  2. Having considered all and looked at my present situation, I think I need help. We need to have BA (Blogging Anonymous).
    I'm guilty of more than half of the above from lyk 5 – 11…i guess.


  3. Lol…I am so guilty of a couple of examples. Number 6-11. Mainly 6 and 11, I wake up and the first thing I do even wiv eyes closed is to roll over and hit the power button on my lappy.

    I agree wiv Rene, we do need BA!!!


  4. I start an example with, "there is this guy/girl I know who…", and it's a blogger example! Oh I warn my friends with a story from Solomonsydelle's EASIER CREW problems!! Tut tut! 6, 8 and 11. I'm so guilty.

    Love it! 😉


  5. LOL! I can totally relate with this! I'm guilty of so many of them. You forgot to add: When you begin to find it hard to differenciate between your real and virtual friends, there is a serious problem! Once I was introducing Believer to someone and she asked us, so how did you two meet? Cue hems and haws and "it's a long story…"
    Imagine the strange looks we got!


  6. @Rene — LOLz….First your were indeed. I am also guilty of quite a few.. Number one actually triggered the whole list.
    @Undercover07 — LOL.. I'm guilty of quite a few myself..
    @leggy — LOL.. The exam one also happened to me. darn.
    @BSNC — Even the best of us falter at these it seems
    @Good Naija Girl– LOL.. Maybe that tactic will work o.. Let's see…
    @LG – LOL… Only you can tell us o… 😉


  7. @Temite — LOL… Take solace in the fact that you are not alone… We are legion.
    @Caramel Delight — LOL…. Interesting one..
    @dta — LOL.. maybe we need t organize some fasting and prayer sharply….
    @LoloBloggs — LOL.. I rationalize it by telling myself 'after- the-fact that they are real people and real stories anyways.. And a friend of a friend is a friend.. so nothing doing..
    @Favoured Girl — LMAO at 'its a long story'. Ahn.. that's another valid one.. Much worse when all one's romantic interests are bloggers — Edited the list to include that one sharply..


  8. When the only authority you can quote in a political discussion about Nigeria is Solomonsydelle, then you know you need Bloggers' Anonymous.


  9. LMAO, I'm probably only guilty of #11…I'm always creating blog posts in my head. Heelarious post! That one na real and serious addiction sha o!
    #14. Instead of me to be working, I am on blogger. Chei!…My boss go catch me o, it is a recession.

    What does HT mean?


  10. No 6: Guilty….makes for awkward moment when i can't explain how i meet my interesting freind!!
    No 7: Guilty, night before finals, was on blogger to make me relax *
    No 8 is sooo freaky…. i have a picture in my head of every single blogger i know….
    No 11: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty.
    Alrite, here goes: " Hi My name is scarlet and I'm a Bloggerholic
    But if u try to make me go to Rehab i'll say no,no no!!


  11. Lwkmd! Guilty as charged on the counts of 1-3, 6, and 11. And judging by the comments here, it looks like everyone on Blogger needs some form of help. Lol

    It is a cardinal sin that your cousin reads your ‘anonymous’ blog – Hilarious and sooo true, lmao!!!

    Gracias for stopping by!


  12. i'm oh so Lol'ing here(well maybe i'm not really laughing out loud, but my killer smile is fully activated:)
    lucky me, i dont need blogville rehab, maybe a year ago,i'd have ticked off 90% of ur list, cos oh i was so loud on most blogs, now? i've lost it, i hardly know whos who in blogville anymore. i'm almost old fashioned here.


  13. It's these your humourous posts I misses so much when you took a break…I am so lol here…What is the minimum percentage to prove that one is addicted? 6 out of 13?


  14. @N.I.M.M.O — LOL.. That may not be so much a bad thing though.. It means that she's doing a fab job of keeping her readers informed….Still an addiction nonetheless though… LOL
    @TigEress — Yes o.. Big deliverance matter o…
    @K — LOL.. sometimes, refusing to accept the 'truth' is bliss… When i succeed in rationalizing away my own issues, I'll join your camp..
    @Original Mgbeks — LOL.. Only #11,you are doing great o… What's the secret? You might be able to organize a vaccine for the rest of us…#14 deserves to be up there mehn….
    @Scarlet — Mehn.. been there meself…..I usually just take the Favoured Girl approach – 'It's a long story'. The other option would be to invent a detailed story I might find hard to remember the details of…


  15. @Anoda Phase – #1 actually happened to me mehn… That was a real wake up call…
    @miss.fab — Yes o.. big issue that the cousin reads the blog. Cos you can't yap family as much as you would…….Sounds like we all need 'help' then..
    @fantasy queen — ah…. you need to explain how to beat the addiction mehn… cos a lot of us need the help already..
    @Nice Anon — Sounds great… If that is the only issue, I think you're doing great then..
    @Rita — Aww.. Thanks… Not sure about the percentage o.. Maybe your GP will be able to advise on that..LOL.. Maybe 50% is a good ball park figure tho.. which would be around the 6 out of 13 mark..


  16. Guilty on 5 and 6, Very Guilty on 8, Very Guilty on 10 and 11, and worst of all, EXTREMELY GUILTY on 13! Since almost all my "crimes" require prayers and deliverance, I guess I'm in serious trouble o!

    OK, now we've identified the problem, maybe the next step would be to identify the solution?

    Hilarious reflective post. Nice one DB!


  17. LOL…@ Number one..happened to me a couple of times..but with the numerous times the death and resurresction of the bank network occurs, whilst you are inching towards the cashiers station, with the occasional chancing and all, you are able to quickly recall your real name.LOL..
    Or, the few times the withdrawal slip bears your signature with your real name, and the name written on the form says Rose, and the cashier gives you a look of "We have seen your type before,nonsense, Mscheeeeeeeeeew".."NEXT!"…


  18. Hmmm, exciting piece. Sounds a lot like me in most of the cases – the addiction hits you like a plague before you even know it and you're hooked. You stop being your real self and you practically become the character you created. No be small matter sha. so what happens next?


  19. LOOOL! But DannyB of what essence is blogging if I cannot make up blog posts in my head, or worse yet DREAm about ye here bloggers with accurate description eh?
    In fact lemme look for who to dream abt today.


  20. LOOOOOOL!!! yeah blogger can be quite addictive especially when everything you talk about with your friends is a story from a post you read during blog rounds…..worse is when you become the character you've made up..that's some strong psychological issue that needs to be sorted out ASAP…lol
    and is ur cuz has to contact you on ur anonymous blog..that's a No-No especially for the fact that your cousin broke through your hidden identity..

    I need to find new things to talk about sharply! lol


  21. LOL! luckily for me, my addiction waxes and wanes! My parents read my blog and I sometimes forget they do until they call and say we enjoyed your last post so much:)So much for trying to write what I really feel.

    Nice one!


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