Scared….. Of God?

I have ranted and raved for a while now about not feeling a real world passion for God, and rightly so. But in the last few days, I have finally gotten to start reading Gordon McDonald’s Forging a Real Faith and Francis Chan’s Crazy Love and I am scared. Scared of what I might see when I finally peek through the door. I suspect that there is so much I will see that my real world life, a lot of the nascent parts of my worldview will be totally altered. That thought is sobering and rightly so. I can see clearly that my view of God has been totally defective; Great in my head, but not in my heart, having the right answers but not the right attitudes, going through the motions without a real sense of awe. I am scared, but I’m still plodding on…. There’s more to life, and I want to see it!

The Hot Seat……

For Me….In the midst of potentially destabilizing change…

The hot seat …..is the hot seat…. The place where you are put on the spot, and come under the most intense scrutiny possible. Here, the basis of your Faith is rigorously examined and the coherence of your worldview is systematically evaluated. It is the zone where well meaning words become dry platitudes devoid of any soothing balm, where textbook solutions fall apart, where time tested strategies cannot even begin to scratch the surface of the sickness that a hope deferred brings.

Nothing can approximate the feelings – no 3D virtualization or discretized solution even comes close to describing the intrinsic complexity of the interplay between the various components of the shattered whole. Its dark there, a Darkness so intense you feel like the whole world is on your shoulders; like all the storm clouds decided to park their bus at your stop and your little smoldering light is almost extinguished by the virulent attack of the hordes of darkness.

Perhaps then is the time to gird up your loins, to remember what you learned in the light, to reach for the stable ground that is inerrant Truth, to remember that Someone has attributes that mean that He has the final say, that He is the silent orchestrator working ALL things together for your good, that if He cared enough to give up His begotten Son then dispelling the dark clouds is trivial and most importantly He has come through before. Perhaps it is then time to step back from the treadmill of life and take a look at the big picture again, the Universe that tells of His Power at work, and his infinite care in shaping you before time.

The stakes are high mate…. You can’t afford to lie down and quit….. Darkness comes for a season…. Weeping remains for the night, but Joy is on the verge of breaking out! Home is just around the corner. You’ll finally make it home!