Attended a friend’s wedding fairly recently…Saw a lot of old chums, all nicely dressed, sweet looking gentlemen now – a far cry from the rowdy rabble we were a few years ago on campus. Guess the last time we saw ourselves in that number at one time was way back then in the Uni days..

We talked a lot about a lot but ultimately the discussions gravitated towards the “new life” our man had just stepped into – marriage – and the difficulties in meeting “good girls” at our stage of life. Young up and coming guys who are perceived to be doing well have the unique disadvantage of being seen as “arrived” and thus as good prospects.

For me though the wedding vows afforded me the opportunity to crystallize my thoughts around the essence of the heterosexual marriage union. What is the essence of the vow to “have and to hold, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health…. till death do us part“? The essence of marriage is captured in three words – partnership, provision, protection. All three words denote a requirement of leadership, responsibility and commitment – attributes which we do not acquire overnight. We will not suddenly become able to share our very lives in partnership in marriage if we have not being doing so long before. We will not be able to protect our wives physically or our husbands emotionally if we have not practiced this with our sisters, brothers and close friends. We will not suddenly be able to provide for a wife and children if we have not prepared long before.

The overwhelming requirement of all these is preparation; daily living our lives with the end point of marriage in view, daily asking ourselves – did I live my life today in a way that has prepared me to be a better husband and father or wife and mother? In a nutshell – living our lives seeking and utilizing opportunities to serve others should be the focus of our efforts.

Truly – the day of the marriage is a specific moment in time when we physically say I do – but as Eric Simmons erstwhile Singles Pastor @ Covenant Life Church so succinctly puts it. “Every day is a day to say I do”